How wanting something less freed me up to do more

A relentless ambition can occasionally get in the way of your goals. I learned this the hard way.

I spent most of my 20s wanting to be a bestselling author — recognized by traditional publications, sold lots of books, invited to speeches, etc. — and this ambition paradoxically got in the way of my writing career.

For example, I learned how the traditional publishing system worked, instead of just spending more time actually writing. Whenever I did write, I treated myself very harshly. Nothing was good enough. Meanwhile, every day I wasn’t a bestselling author — so, every day — I felt like a failure. I berated myself for being so late. Whenever I met a bestselling author, I felt my accomplishments paled in comparison — I felt inferior to them.

I listened to all sorts of podcasts with bestselling authors in my pursuit of becoming one. I came across this (very heavily gated) interview with Eddie Huang — a bestselling author and a restaurateur — and it really shifted my perspective. Eddie says:

You also shouldn’t ever feel like there’s any one thing you have to have. A lot of times, in business, in your creative life, or even your romantic life, or whatever, as soon there’s something that you care about so much that you have to have it, it poisons you. Because then, that thing controls you, and you’ve lost control of yourself.

I think it’s very important. The Tao…