That lost feeling? It’s a sign you’re building a life that’s yours, not just copying somebody else’s

While there’s no map to freedom, feeling lost might be the clearest sign you’re on the right path

The story of The Courage to Be Disliked is told mostly in dialogue, between a student and a philosopher. Spoiler alert: While the student starts off opposing the philosopher, hellbent on proving the philosopher and their school of thinking — Adlerian psychology — wrong, he starts to come around.

By the end of the book, the student’s intention has shifted away from being right, and towards making meaning of his own life. The philosopher has led the student to the water; it’s up to the student to drink now. Still, the student doesn’t feel ready.

“Please tell me!” he begs the philosopher. “How can I assign proper meaning to a meaningless life? I do not have the confidence yet!”

“You are lost in your life. Why are you lost?” the philosopher replies. “You are lost because you are trying to choose freedom, that is to say, a path on which you are not afraid of being disliked by others and you are not living others’ lives — a path that is yours alone.”

This sentiment resonated with me deeply. If you ever feel like you wrestle with confusion and ambiguity more than most of the people you know (as I feel like I do!), it might be because you’re pursuing a sense of freedom that they’re just not…